I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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