He passed out mid-signature
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
