your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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