So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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