I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
