you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
