he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
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Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
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If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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