Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I need to sanitize my soul.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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