I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
