can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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