he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
