When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
