Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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