Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
