i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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