suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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