who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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