As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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