Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i permit you to call me
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize