don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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