Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
