what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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