But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
