Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
