her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
