But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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