don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
home. puking in laundry basket.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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