I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
