I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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