In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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