I wish my penis had an off switch
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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