I will die if light touches me.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
