R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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