Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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