Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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