kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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