i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
