He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
