That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
