your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
i need some magic done to my vagina
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
