Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
