My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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