Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
