Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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