O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
