Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
