if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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