oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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