ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
