He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
