Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
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