Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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