my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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