Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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