No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just want nice things and good sex
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
