capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
