oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
