We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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