is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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