who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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