My liver just broke up with me...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
